7 Ways To Build Your Self Esteem
In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means a self change - the kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you would not even remember. Do not let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of dog eat dog theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.
Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You cannnot be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.
Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It is okay to cry and say ouch! when we experience pain. But do not let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.
Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you are looking at. Do not wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it does not mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you will never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Dart Pin #7 : Negative Behavior
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God would not come down from heaven and tell you, “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”
Paul Hata is active in various social and community programs aimed at providing equal access to education,health and jobs to all.Paul has over 10 years experience in managing a multi-million dollar advertising company.Paul can be reached at TradePlanets.com
Secrets of Super Learning Pt 2
As you further develop your skill, one of the best ways to build momentum is to come up with a process to test small changes in your execution. This gives you a way of constantly improving as well as an easy to follow method of generating feedback for yourself.
Smaller steps are always easier to keep track of. Most of us can figure out how to make $1000.00, but most of us can’t figure out how to make $1 million. If you can make $1000.00, and you can repeat that 1000 times, then you have made $1 million. The more you can find small elements of a complex skill or skill-set to improve, the faster your improvement will be.
For example, if you were a student of karate, rather than trying to get better at everything at once, narrow it down to a single technique, or even a single aspect of a technique. If you want to work on your sidekick, just begin to pay more attention every time you practice it. Are you performing the sidekick exactly as you would like to? Do you have a clear vision of what you want to be able to do with it? You can even narrow this down to a single aspect of the sidekick. Are you striking with the heel? Are hitting your intended target? Can you throw the kick without the opponent seeing it coming?
As another example, if you are a public speaker, you will want to change as small a detail as possible in order to measure results from the audience. You might add one anecdote into your presentation to gauge the immediate reaction as well as the overall impact on the whole presentation. You might also choose to develop more rapport with audience faster, change the order of the presentation, or change the style of your clothing. Notice that each of these is much easier to work with than creating an entirely new presentation.
Once you begin to recognize all the small details of your skill-set that you can begin to improve, it is also useful to have a time frame for changing them out. A week is a good starting point, but depending on the skill you are developing, you may opt for a slightly shorter or slightly longer period of time.
If you do decide to go with a week, then pick a day to change aspects of the skill. It can be any day of the week, but Sunday often works best. Whatever day you choose, use it to make a final review of all the positive results of the change in your skill. You can also note any challenges in this area that remain, and you can even choose to dedicate another week to it if you feel you haven’t improved enough.
For the example of public speaking, you might note that your anecdote really lightened up the dry material in the middle of the presentation and brought the audience back into focus. You might also decide that for the next week you are going to work on pauses and timing to give your major points more impact.
Once you develop a simple feedback mechanism for testing small changes, you will not only build momentum and vastly magnify your ability to improve in any skill, you will also develop an eye for subtle differences. The appreciation and application of subtlety is a true mark of mastery!
Benjamin Langley has been studying and training in meditation, yoga, and other sciences of the mind for over 10 years. He regularly writes and shares powerful insights on his own blog. Come take a look: http://peacefulprosperity.com/blog
Stop Planning and Dreaming and Start Doing
One of the most counterproductive things that I see people do the most is plan, plan, plan and dream, dream, dream. Now don’t get me wrong, anyone who desires success should plan and dream. But not excessively to the point where action never takes place.
Why is this concept so important? I’ll put it to you like this. You can dream about having a job and plan on having a job, but if you never go out to get the job, all of your planning and dreaming is in vain. Think about it. How many people do you know or know of that want and hope for their lives to turn around? How many people literally believe that if they just keep doing the same thing that put them in their distressed situation that some other type of result will be attained? It seems weird, but oh so common.
We currently live in a world where the television affects our thinking patterns. It affects our understanding of a simple concept, work! More and more adults, not just children are being so beat up by the hardships of life that they come home and wait for a miracle. We live amongst a people who basically want something for nothing. Most would rather play the lottery and take their chances that to carve out their own sure destiny. I want to propose a different idea if I may.
If you were to close your eyes and imagine what you really want out of life, then open them and focus on what your eyes physically see, the brain cannot determine the difference of what was real. The brain sees what you want it to see. Most times, the eyes try to over-rule what the brain sees. That means, that although your brain could very well determine that the reality is that you are a millionaire, your eyes will tell the brain to shut-up! Isn’t the brain more powerful than the eye? So many people rely on the eye as if it was supreme. What if you were to follow your brain, and begin to take action based on what the brain sees? Where could you be in 3 years?
As life goes along, remember to begin to take action on the desires of your heart. Planning and dreaming is only good up to a certain point. The wealthiest people aren’t always the best planners or biggest dreamers. They are generally the ones who actively go after the dream they had, with no fear of failure. To achieve the goals you have set, become a do-er. Become the person that others look at and say, “mann, she/he just keeps going”. Once you begin to focus and work towards your dreams, others will start to take their place to help you. It’s truly amazing. Give it a shot- I dare you!
Tracey Walker is an Expert Internet Network Marketer who hates rejection and chasing dead-end leads. To learn more about how she completely stopped having hotel meetings and still grew a lead database of over 211 prospects while generating over $1,703 in less than 30 days even though no one joined her business, click this link ==> Internet MLM Success
Secrets of Super Learning Pt 3
In order to learn and to plan your schedule of training, it is important to understand the different phases of learning that you will go through. I borrowed this model from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming).
There are four primary stages of learning: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence.
Unconscious incompetence is the first stage. It is where you don’t know, and you aren’t aware of the fact that you don’t know.
Here are some examples. For a future guitarist, you don’t even recognize the guitar separate from the rest of the music when you listen to a song. For a future public speaker, you might think something along the lines of “He’s just up there talking to people… I talk to people all the time!”
Conscious incompetence is the second stage. This is where you become aware of the skill-set, and your lack of ability there.
To follow our earlier examples, now you have watched and listened as a guitarist performs a solo and thought “Wow, how does she do that?” Our future public speaker may have stepped in front of their first audience, frozen up, and realized maybe it’s not as simple as “just talking to people”.
Conscious competence is the third stage. It is where you have learned a process well enough to execute it properly as long as you are paying close attention.
At this point, our future guitarist has learned to play chords or a simple tune, but can only do it right as long as he or she concentrates on it. Our future public speaker might be able to give a short speech as long as he or she focuses on deep breathing and relaxation while presenting.
Unconscious competence is the fourth stage. This is where you have practiced the skill so much, that you execute it correctly without even thinking about it.
Our guitarist now knows the songs so well, he or she can play them well while jumping off a speaker, spinning in circles, or helping the lead singer with backup vocals. The guitarist also begins to develop the ability to play new material extemporaneously at this level. Our public speaker can now get in front of an audience and comfortably speak on virtually anything. He or she can answer tough questions (sometimes with “I don’t know”), and adjust the presentation to make it appropriate for the audience. Of course, a good presentation or speech will still require some preparation.
When we learn any skill or skill-set, we go through these same stages. This includes everything from learning to read and understanding Calculus, all the way to being a better mother and learning to deal with challenging emotions. The real challenge is that we are frequently stumbling through these steps without any conscious awareness.
Possibly the most critical point comes between stage 2 and stage 3. This is where you learn a step-by-step procedure to execute the skill. Once you get to stage 4, you won’t even think about it anymore. I highly recommend that you select a good instructor and/or a powerful procedure to learn.
This naturally leads us to ask ourselves “how many processes do you already have in place that don’t serve you?” If someone is better at math, it’s not because they are ’smarter’, they just have a better process. If the couple down the street seems much happier than you and your significant other, it’s not because ‘God blessed them more’ or because they are more attractive, it is because they have better processes in place. It might have been an accident, or they may have planned it that way, but they have simply learned better processes for their relationship.
There is good news in all of this. No matter what the skill is, you can always take the time to go back and change the process, or learn a new one entirely. You will have to put forth some effort to make these adjustments, but the rewards can be amazing. Take some time to find something you would like to change in your life. Find an appropriate process, and practice it until it becomes a habit. You will be happy that you did!
Benjamin Langley has been studying and training in meditation, yoga, and other sciences of the mind for over 10 years. He regularly writes and shares powerful insights on his own blog. Come take a look: http://peacefulprosperity.com/blog
Secrets of Super Learning Pt 1
There is a line we have to walk between ‘not prepared’ and ‘over prepared’. In actuality, it is very difficult to be ‘over prepared’, but people commonly use more preparation as an excuse to delay the actual event. Over preparation is a form of procrastination!
But how much preparation is enough? This depends on the situation. Usually it is preferable to learn just the minimum necessary to perform the skill marginally well; then it is time to get into real-world application.
As an example, in my karate class, whenever we introduce a new student to sparring, they just have a few techniques. A roundhouse kick, a sidekick, and some variation on jab-cross, and they’re ready to go. This is just a few out of thousands of techniques that could be used in sparring. This doesn’t even bring into account variations of timing, feints, or more complicated footwork. All that can be learned later, though. It won’t even make sense to a beginner if they don’t have a context in which to understand it. The context they need is a few ‘live’ sparring matches (light contact to start, of course).
We have to have a real-world context to apply our reason. If we don’t, it is just imagination. A spectator will never understand what it is to be a player (but they usually think they do).
Another example is public speaking. Make sure the speaker knows his/her material; this is the only consideration that should be given a significant amount of time before actual speaking engagements. Once they are familiar with the material, give the speaker a few tips (maybe projection of voice, friendliness in demeanor, and a quick relaxation technique to calm down), and then get them in front of an audience. Will unforeseen challenges arise? Of course! But it is much better (and less time consuming) to deal with the challenges that do arise than to pretend you can anticipate every challenge that ‘might’ arise.
If we have to choose one extreme or the other, I generally prefer to take action. I have been so caught up in analysis and preparation in the past that on occasion I never actually got around to performing the skill. Some preparation is good, but it can easily be taken to useless extremes.
Once you have taken action, though, you might decide to ‘adjust your formula’. To use the karate example again, once you have done some ‘live’ sparring, you might choose to spend quite a bit of time perfecting a particular technique (maybe your sidekick) in solo practice or with a partner before you use it in a ‘live’ situation again. If you decide to do this, be sure to base this decision on your real-world experience.
As I have said before, the most important thing to do is take action. Once you have taken action, a world of possibilities opens up for you. Endless permutations of skill development will present themselves once you practice your skill in a ‘live’ environment. This often seems to be the case before taking action as well. The only difference is the possibilities that arise after taking action are based on real world experience… not your imagination!
Benjamin Langley has been studying and training in meditation, yoga, and other sciences of the mind for over 10 years. He regularly writes and shares powerful insights on his own blog. Come take a look: http://peacefulprosperity.com/blog
What Is A Life Coach And How Do They Become Life Coaches?
If you have heard of personal development, it is likely you know what a life coach is. It can be hard to define, as a life coach is a general term, and not all life coaches are alike. So, how did they become a life coach, and how can they help you.
A life coach is basically someone who has the answers to the pressing issues in your life. And we all have those problems, so a life coach likely can help you get unstuck sooner than if you had to try and find the solution to the problem yourself. A life coach can help you see new opportunities which you did not realize existed in front of you. A life coach can also help you make your desire reality, especially in business, if you have a goal or vision. A life coach has a lot of contacts, and they may be able to help you find the person you need to make your project a reality.
A life coach is also a great way to keep you committed to achieving a certain objective. A life coach can give you the push needed to make an objective reality. After all, if you do not do the advice given by a life coach, you will have to answer to it at the next scheduled meeting!
This makes finding a life coach and enlisting there help generally something which a person dedicated to high achievement subscribes to. Top athletes would not be where they are if they did not have there own coaches to help them achieve there best.
But, how did these people become life coaches? The stories are always different. With the personal development industry, you will often find these people had trying times in there lives, which to others would seem insurmountable. But, they have one thing in common; they found the solution, and now share it with the world.
Today, this is becoming less of the case. Whereas 10, 20 years ago, you may have never known what a life coach was, but may have known about consultants, today life coaching is much more popular. This has an added advantage, but also a negative aspect.
Life coaching certification has sprung up, which makes a certain standard with life coaching, but often does not provide all that people need. For example, whereas those life coaches who have been life coaching for decades have the experience, the newer certified life coaches maybe too new to have had the actual experience, and instead have answers.
The choice comes down to what you need. Both can provide the answers, though if you need someone with the actual experience, it may need searching more than simply finding someone who has the qualifications.
A life coach in either case can benefit you, but only when you know what you need them for. It comes down to looking at your life, and considering areas you want to improve in. They could be financial, health, success, and even relationships. Each life coach generally has a specialty, and here is where you can benefit.
A great way to find a life coach is by visiting find a life coach. And if you aspire to become a life coach, this link may help you.
* Free personal development resources
The Steps Behind Personal Development Coaching
Changing your life for the better is not impossible. Run from anyone who tells you that you should just accept your lot in life. No one has to live a life that is less than what they want. A success principle can be applied to your career and personal life.
You may think that life is working against you and keeping you in a spot that is not what you want or dreamed of but it is possible to change all of that. It may require the use of personal development coaching, yet you can attain your goals and change; it is within your grasp.
Personal development coaching occurs in steps. Step one is to analyze your current living situation. No, this is not referring to where you live or with whom you cohabitate. It is about taking a good, long look at your life.
Are you happy with your workplace? Are you happy with your personal relationships? This is about taking an inventory or stock of your life and recognizing in what areas helpful, leadership mentoring could make a difference.
The second step involves telling your coach consultant what your goals are. He or she cannot tell you what you should aim for, that is your job to let them know what it is you want out of life.
Just remember to set reasonable goals. You may want to conquer a fear of heights or learn how to make the most out of relationships. It is okay to set a series of small goals rather than one large goal.
The third step is implementing a plan that involves life building exercises. Your coach can help you by pointing out areas where you could improve communication skills, management skills and even where your strong areas are versus dwelling on the negative aspects of your life. It is time to take full responsibility and start working towards your aspirations.
Step four is the final part of the plan. It is now time to start implementing the changes that you will need to make in order to succeed and make your end objectives a reality. Personal development coaching comes full circle and you can finally see how you really want things to be. Your coach will prove to be a valuable asset in this learning process and can provide you with the appropriate motivation in order to see things through to completion. Good luck on your journey!
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our coaching portal for more great information on personal development coaching, and leave a comment at our life coaching training blog.
Prepare Yourself to Win Every Time
If I were to ask you what you wanted more than anything else in your life, what would be your answer?
Most people automatically say, almost every time I ask the question, “I want a million dollars,” or “I want to be rich”.
Seldom do I hear people say they want to create a plan of action, set goals, take action, and set the ball in motion to get from dream to reality.
This is the part that most people never consider. Sure, everybody wants to be rich, happy, thin, tan, and gorgeous, but how many people actually map out how to get what they want? That’s what the most successful people in life have done.
Think about it. I live in Massachusetts, and if I wanted to drive to Los Angeles I wouldn’t just get in my car and drive in a straight line heading west, right? If I did, I’d end up in the southern part of Lake Ontario. If I wanted to get to L.A. I’d have to have a map to guide me there.
A map to success in life is very similar. You have to plan the steps you need to take to get to your ultimate goal. There are winding roads, bridges, and shortcuts you need to plan for. You need to figure out exactly how you are going to get all the things you want and need.
So, you need to write your own MAP (Massive Action Plan) for success. Just use a regular notepad.
Fisrt, write down all the goals you want to accomplish. Maybe you want to start a business, get a better job, go back to school, whatever. Take as much time as you need to write down all your goals, big and small. You should have at least 10-15 goals, unless you’re already perfect… which none of us are, so write them down! Do this now, and then read on.
OK, now look at your list, and then choose the three goals that are most important to you. On a new sheet of paper write down your three most important goals, and under each one write a paragraph or two explaining why that particular goal is so important to you. Write down why your life would be better if you accomplished each goal, and then how much you’ll miss in life if you don’t reach your goal. Take as much time as you need, and then read on.
Pretty Powerful, huh? You always knew striving for these goals was important, and you always knew you wanted to accomplish them, but until you write it down and see it on the page it never seems clear. It sure seems pretty damn clear now, doesn’t it?
Now that you’re fired up let’s do a fun exercise! Just like the last exercise, you’re going to make a list. This time though you’re going to let your mind run wild. I want you to list all the material things you want. Forget whatever financial situation you’re in, or want to be in, just have fun with this. No matter how outrageous it might seem, write it down. List private jets, expensive sports cars, yachts, mansions, anything you want. Don’t be overly specific though. Write down private jet, not Learjet model 31A. You get the idea. Go ahead and write out your list, and then read on.
That’s quite a list you’ve got now, huh? Now do the same as the previous exercise and list the three you want the most, and why you want them. Do it then read on.
Wow! How cool is your list? Now, let’s get ready to reach those goals, and get those things.
What can you do right now to set the wheels in motion toward reaching your top three goals? When I say right now I don’t mean tomorrow or next week, I mean RIGHT NOW! What can you do? You know you can get started right now, so get going! Write down three actions you can take this second to get started, and then start doing them. Take MASSIVE ACTION! Change your life starting immediately!
Start writing a business plan if you want to start a business, spruce up your resume, or get a course schedule from the school you want to attend. Do something, anything, no matter how small. Once you begin it gets easier to take the next steps.
Go online or call the nearest Maserati dealer and get a brochure, or get info on a private jet you’d like to have. This is action, and you need to take some action to get started. It may seem small, but when the day comes that you take your new yacht out for its maiden voyage, or move into that 20 room palace you’ll look back to this day, I guarantee it!
On paper lay out all the things you need to do to get to where you want to be in life. The map may seem long and daunting, but I’ll bet Bill Gates felt the same way the day he decided to start Microsoft, and look at him now. Become a client and you’ll learn a technique I call Batching to make even the longest MAP manageable, and easier to accomplish.
Well, that’s it for now kids! Get going, take MASSIVE ACTION, and live every day like the winner that you are! Remember, success doesn’t just happen to others, it can happen to you to… if you know how!
Until next time… LIVE everyday with burning ZEAL!
Ted Hebert is an Article Marketing Specialist and author helping companies of all sizes grow their business through article marketing. He can be reached at Ted@Atunga.com or visit http://www.Atunga.com . To check out Ted’s book, Get the Gleam, visit http://www.getthegleam.com
What Is Life Mentoring ?
Do you know what life mentoring is and what it entails? Relax; it is okay if you do not. Many people do not have much experience, if any at all, with a lifestyle coach. It is a relatively new field but the principles behind mentoring have long been used in the workplace. You simply take someone with more knowledge and experience and pair him or her up with someone who does not have as much experience, with the hope that the individual learns some new life or business skills.
There is not any really big secret to life mentoring. It just requires that the mentor has experience and effective coaching skills and techniques. It may be someone in a business field with years of experience in sales and he or she is instructing new business people in the tricks of the trade. The mentor uses practical advice, experience and leadership in the role he or she is playing.
Perhaps it is better to call these individuals motivational speakers rather than life mentors because they are trying to help people achieve goals on their own. They want to share their past experiences that have shaped them into better people. Take for example someone like Lance Armstrong.
He survived cancer and wants to let the world know that you do not have to let cancer beat you. It is possible to achieve great things even when life is attempting to wear you down. Another example is a youth pastor who wants to share his or her own life choices and experiences. He or she wants to be a good example for their group of kids.
The goal of coaching people is to motivate them. It is about being a good lifestyle coach so that you can lead by example. It would not do any good for a drug dealer to expound upon the evils of using drugs when he or she is pedaling narcotics. It takes living the life of a good person in order to show others how to live that same motivated lifestyle.
Life mentoring can be a rewarding career. You have the ability to help out those who are having trouble in their own lives. You are helping them achieve personal goals and make a better quality of life for themselves. Coaching people is something that many people want to do because it gives them a sense of purpose and a way to show others that impossible situations can be overcome. There is hope and triumph that can be had from any experience.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our coaching portal for more great information on life mentoring, and leave a comment at our life coaching training blog.
The Principles Behind Life Coaching
There are some individuals who seem to have given up on ever reaching their personal goals. Perhaps they are not setting any goals at all and merely “exist” without moving forward in their workplace or their personal life. They believe that achieving their goals is impossible and so are resigned to whatever life seems to hand them. It does not have to be that way. If you are one of these people, then it is possible to get ahead. Life coaching may be the tool that you need.
Life coaching is about helping others to achieve their goals and their dreams. They can do this by leading through example, offering life tips and employing effective coaching skills that come from a variety of disciplines, such as psychology or sociology.
As a life coach, he or she must help the client analyze their current living situation and help them decide where they want to be in life. They guide you along by offering tips and helping you to overcome these obstacles.
A life coach is not a “fix all” and he or she cannot solve the client’s problems for them. If drugs, alcohol, abuse or psychological issues are present, then the mentor is not qualified to help with those types of problems. They can provide a good example and help the client seek out professional help but the mentor is not qualified to undertake such a task.
One good thing to remember is that there is no professional licensing for leadership mentoring or being a life coach. There are organizations that do offer membership but there is no schooling needed in order to be a mentor.
If you are looking to hire a mentor to help you set goals, then you should be wary of any individual claiming to be able to change your life or help you obtain an unreasonable objective. The mentor is not and should not be there to show you the way and push you towards something for which you are not ready. They merely provide the shoulder should you need their help in dealing with specific life transitions.
Life coaching is a calling for most individuals who become involved in this career field. If you wish to be a life coach and want to know more about the profession, then you can visit “iCoach Academy” for more information. You may not be able to earn an officially recognized certification from these helping organizations but at least you will be making a difference.
Mike Selvon owns a number of niche portal. Please visit our coaching portal for more great information on life coaching, and leave a comment at our life coaching training blog.
